When co-parenting with an alcoholic ex or drug addict, it is essential to put your children’s needs first. You should protect your children by limiting their exposure to the addiction as much as possible and educating them about addiction. You should also provide them with love and emotional support.
Alcohol and drug addiction does not merely affect the addict but also has a profound negative impact on those around them, especially their children. Addiction creates an unsafe environment for children and increases their risk of developing mental health issues. It can also increase the likelihood that the children eventually become an addict themselves.
There are various ways in which we can protect and support our children when co-parenting with an alcoholic or drug addict ex. In the following subheadings, we will look at some ways we can do it.
Related Reading: Co-Parenting a Newborn – Helpful Tips
Tips On Co-Parenting with an Alcoholic or Drug Addict Ex
When co-parenting with an alcoholic or drug addict, it is essential to put your child’s needs first. Any decision you make must be based on what is best for your child(ren), not on your personal feelings or thoughts about your ex-partner.
The best thing for your child would be if you could convince your ex-partner to seek help for their addiction. If you can help them to see the detrimental effects of their behavior on their child’s development and the potential harmful impact it can have on their future, you might be able to persuade them.
If you can persuade your ex to get help, it would be good for you to try and support them as much as possible. You can consult a professional for advice on how to help your ex stay sober and clean once they leave the rehab center. Attending meetings where you can meet other people who have spouses (or children) who are alcoholics or addicts could be helpful as well; like Al-Anon. Having a healthy parent is important for your child’s well-being and development, and you should do everything you can to help our ex stay on the right track.
If you cannot convince your ex to get help for their addiction, there are measures you can take to limit your child’s exposure to the parent’s issue. You can set boundaries on how and when your child spends time with the parent. For instance, you can limit your child’s time with the parent and require them to stay sober (or be tested) during supervised visitation.
OUR LATEST VIDEOS
If the drinking or drug use is out of control, you could even limit your children’s contact with the addict to electronic communication only; through a special custody order. If your ex violates these boundaries and puts your child in danger, there are legal steps you can take to protect your child. The following subheading will examine how we can use the law to protect your children.
Related Reading: Co-parenting With a Liar – Tips For Making It Work
How to Limit Your Child’s Exposure to Addiction Using the Law
Besides being physically unsafe for your children in an environment where alcohol is abused or drugs are used, exposure to addiction can also negatively impact your child’s mental well-being, development, and future. Therefore, you must protect your child(ren) as much as possible, and the law can help with this. You should seek help as soon as possible from a qualified custody lawyer who can advise you through this process, but here is some general advice.
Firstly, you must be able to prove in court that your ex is addicted to alcohol and/or drugs. It can be done by gathering evidence and getting witnesses who will testify to your ex’s addiction and what they are like while intoxicated. Being able to prove your ex’s ongoing substance abuse will enable the court to order a custody arrangement that will protect your children.
For instance, the court may award full custody to the sober parent and allow visitation rights to the substance-dependent parent. The court may also require the parent to provide evidence that no substances were abused before or during visitation. If the parent fails to provide proof, the court may alter the custody arrangement and only allow the parent to visit the child under supervision or via video call.
Social Support for a Child with an Addict/Alcoholic Parent
As it is tough and painful for a child to have a parent addicted to alcohol or drugs, you should provide your child with as much support as possible. For instance, you can take your child to a therapist specializing in the field. The therapist will be able to help the child work through their feelings and provide them with healthy strategies to cope with the situation.
It would also be good for your child(ren) to have supportive, loving family and friends. You can ask your family members for support and help during difficult times. The more love and support your child(ren) have, the better they will be able to cope.
It would also be good to bring as much joy into your child(ren)’s lives as possible. You can spend time with them doing fun and silly things that will make them laugh. Knowing that they have at least one parent who prioritizes and makes them feel important will go a long way towards their well-being and emotional development.
Also, when a child’s parents separate, it often leaves them feeling vulnerable and like they have no control over their lives. One way to help your child(ren) feel a sense of control is to allow them to make small decisions, such as what they want to eat for lunch, wear to school, or what fun activity they want to do with you.
The Importance of Self-Care When Co-Parenting with an Addict
Though it may seem counter-intuitive, it is essential that we take care of ourselves and our mental well-being when raising a child with an addict. It is not only hard to be in a relationship with an addict, but also to end the relationship. It is even harder to see the effects it has on your children. It would be in your and your child’s best interest to find healing for the trauma and pain experienced.
You can find healing by going to a therapist specializing in the field who can help you work through your emotions and find healing. A therapist might additionally be able to help you devise effective strategies to deal with the dependent parent. It would also be good to talk to and seek support from loving family members and friends.
It would be good to take time for yourself now and then to relax and process your emotions. It is crucial to take care of your mental well-being and happiness so you can have the strength required to support your children through the difficulties of having a parent addicted to alcohol or drugs. We cannot help your children before first helping yourself.
Taking care of yourself will additionally set a good example for your child(ren), as it will demonstrate to them that taking care of themselves is important. It will also be good for your child(ren) to know that at least one of their parents are doing well. Our children love us and do not want to see us unhappy.
Continue Reading: Co-Parenting While (Still) Living Together [CAN IT WORK?]
Finding a way to co-parent effectively with an ex addicted to drugs or alcohol can be very challenging. We want our children to have a relationship with the other parent. However, we also want and need to protect our children from the harmful effects of the parent’s addiction on their mental well-being, development, and future.
It is crucial that you put your children’s needs first in any decision you make. If the other parent is unwilling to get help for their substance abuse problem, you can protect your children by limiting their exposure to the parent’s addiction, and the law can help you. It would also be good to build