My Husband Gets Mad When I Cry…Why?

It is a common misconception that women are more emotional than men and often husbands get mad and frustrated when their wives cry for what they feel are frivolous reasons. This ultimately boils down to a disconnect and misunderstanding between yourself and your husband.

Your husband might think you’re crying for attention or to deflect from your own actions. Your husband could also be getting angry because he does not know how to react to your emotions.

The first step to a solution is to have a calm conversation with your husband and confront him as to why he gets angry. It takes a lot of patience and strength to be able to do this. It is also important for your husband to remain calm and allow you both to explain where your emotions are coming from.

Husband walking away in distance to avoid seeing his wife cry who is standing with hands over face

Related Reading: My Husband Pushed Me During An Argument

Why Your Husband Gets Mad When You Cry

It is important to establish whether this is a common pattern that happens the majority of the time when you display vulnerable emotions. Your husband is meant to be your pillar of love and support, he should be the one person you can freely cry in front of.

He could feel like you are attacking him or crying to manipulate him. Men are often attacked for showing any signs of emotions and it is also likely that your display of emotions could make him uncomfortable.

It is a damaging belief, but your husband may feel that you aren’t genuinely crying but rather using this display of emotions to avoid a difficult conversation or having to take responsibility for yourself.

He could also think that you are trying to manipulate him into getting your way by crying. This is especially true if you are asking him to help you with a task that he does not want to or can’t do. He may feel like you are trying to guilt him.

It is possible that your husband thinks you are trying to deflect from your own actions if you are crying during an argument or whenever he brings up a difficult topic. You need to be honest with yourself if this is the case and find a way to communicate your disappointment.

Toxic masculinity culture has also led men to feel uncomfortable around vulnerable displays of emotions. Anger is a secondary emotion and is usually fueled by an underlying emotion – whether it be guilt, sadness, or hurt.

Your husband may struggle to feel vulnerable due to a societal belief that men must always remain stoic and strong. In this, his anger could be projected onto you as he doesn’t know how to navigate his emotions.

We can try to deduce where his emotions are from, but we won’t truly know unless you ask him and he is able to honestly explain where and why he reacts the way that he does. If he does not understand his reactions himself, then it is maybe a good idea to see a couple’s therapist.

How To Approach Your Husband

It is vital that you approach your husband in a calm manner and when he is not distracted or stressed. In order to have a mature conversation about why your husband gets angry when you cry, you must both be willing to understand each other and come to a solution.

You should also only speak to him about this in a private setting and not in front of others. It may be easier to speak to him at a restaurant on a date night to help you both connect and ensure that the conversation is kept calm.

This might not be an easy conversation to have but it is a very important one. It will bring you both closer together if you can understand where the other’s emotions stem from.

It can also be worthwhile to consult a psychologist for both yourself and as a couple. A professional can guide you both in why you experience the emotions you do and how to navigate them healthily.

What Can You Do To Improve This

You will need to get honest with yourself – are you crying as a genuine display of emotion or are you using tears as a way to avoid having big conversations or to get your way. Crying is one of the most honest emotions and crying often is not a bad thing.

It is however not normal to cry about every conversation or for every inconvenience. If you find yourself tearful over seemingly normal situations, it is a good idea to sit with yourself and determine why this is happening.

It is always important to look at the flip side of the situation and try to understand where your husband is coming from. Remember that your emotions are always valid, and should be taken seriously.

Life is not easy, and going through challenging times or big life changes can cause you to be more tearful than normal. You know yourself best and will know if you are naturally a more sensitive person or if you are more fearful because of your current circumstances.

Keep track of how angry and how often your husband reacts this way to you. Crying is a normal human emotion and is a release of tension, hurt, anger, or stress. There can be a number of reasons why you are crying.

It is not normal for your husband to get angry every single time you cry, especially if you are crying over something serious and you need your husband’s support. Your husband also cannot expect you to keep perfect control of your emotions when he has no control of his.

Related Reading: My Husband Pushed Me During An Argument

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In Conclusion

You can’t have a healthy marriage if you aren’t able to display your honest emotions with your husband. They are your partner and are meant to be part of your safe space. Your husband could be getting angry when you cry as they are overwhelmed by your emotions or feel guilted by this.

They could also be getting angry as they were taught not to cry or show vulnerable emotions. To resolve this, you need to have a calm and mature conversation with your husband.

You both need to be willing to come to a good understanding of where your emotions are coming from and use this to decide how you will handle difficult conversations in the future. Remember – your emotions are valid and normal.

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