I Hate My Husband

Relationships go through rough patches, and sometimes you may find that your husband has changed in a way that has caused you to hate him. Naturally, you do not want to harbor resentment toward him, so it is valuable to evaluate your feelings and see how you can begin to feel more positive feelings toward him.

You might hate your husband because he doesn’t spend enough time with you, doesn’t give you gifts, berates you, or doesn’t shower you with words of affirmation. However, reflecting on positive memories you share and consulting a marriage counselor can help mend your relationship.

Even though you hate your husband, it doesn’t mean your marriage has to end. Let’s explore potential reasons why you might hate your husband and consider things you can do to overcome your hatred towards him.

An angry who hates her husband sitting next to him on couch while he plays video games

Reasons Why You Might Hate Your Husband

Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for wives to hate their husbands. Here are a couple of reasons why you may hate your husband.

Your Husband Might Not Spend Enough Time With You

Quality time is crucial in a marriage. You will likely feel neglected if your husband does not spend time with you or does not express a longing to spend time with you.

Feeling neglected can lead to you feeling undervalued by him, which may cause you to withdraw and likely cause feelings of hatred over time.

Your Husband Does Not Give You Gifts

Gifts are significant in any relationship because they signify that the person thought of you and put in the effort to bless you with something nice. Gifts are not limited to expensive things like jewelry.

Gifts can include something small like a little “I love you” note. You may feel hatred towards your husband because he hasn’t shown any sign that he thinks of you and wants to spoil you.

Your Husband Doesn’t Shower You With Words Of Affirmation

Everyone needs to receive words of affirmation. However, your significant other is someone who you would expect to be esteemed by and most likely the person whose opinion matters to you most.

If your husband does not shower you with words of affirmation, you may begin to feel insignificant and feel as though he takes you for granted, which may cause you to hate him.

Your Husband Berates You

It is essential that you feel valued in a marriage. If your husband questions your decisions, doesn’t consult you on his decisions, and is overly critical of things you do, your self-esteem will likely take a knock.

As your partner, you would hope he would admire and esteem you. However, it’s easy to become hateful toward him when that is not the case.

Your Husband Does Not Help You At Home

Sharing household duties can go a long way in bonding. Washing the dishes together every night can be fun if you add some music and avoid making it feel like a chore.

You might feel that you hate your husband if he leaves all the household responsibilities to you.

You may feel that you are alone in maintaining the household and that your husband does not have the desire to share your burdens or alleviate your problems for you.

You Lack Intimacy In Your Marriage

Physical intimacy is crucial in keeping a marriage alive. It is important to physically connect with your husband so that you can have a sense of unity. If you and your partner have not been intimate in a while, it may cause you to feel as if you are undesirable to him, which may hurt your feelings and cause you to resent him.

Angry wife looking the other direction from pleading husband next to her

Ways To Overcome Hatred Towards Your Husband

Naturally, you would like to have a positive relationship with your husband. Here are a couple of ways that you can overcome the hatred you may feel toward your husband.

Write A List Of Good Things He Has Done For You

It is easy to block out all the good memories and have your positive ones overshadowed by all the bad. When things get rough, it’s valuable to remember the good parts of your husband. For this reason, it might be valuable to write a list of all the good you have experienced thanks to him.

In the future, add every little good thing he does to your list. Soon, you might find that he does quite a few small things that positively impact you.

Look At Old Photos Of Good Memories With Him

Photos have the magical power of unlocking deep emotions. Flip through an old photo album or look through your cloud online to see pictures of happy times. Soak in those positive feelings and try to remain optimistic that you two will feel that sense of joy again one day.

Consult A Marriage Counselor

It is popular for couples to go to marriage counselors, even couples who are happily married. Marriage counselors are objective third parties who are able to hear both parties’ perspectives and help the two people come together to find a sense of peace and unity in their marriage.

If you hate your husband, it may be worthwhile to consult a marriage counselor who will be able to listen to you calmly, identify your triggers, and help you move forward in love.

Journal About Your Feelings

If you feel uncomfortable talking to a marriage counselor or a psychologist, consider journaling to process your feelings privately. Journaling can be very therapeutic and is a great reflective tool.

You will likely figure out more about yourself and learn to understand your husband more as you reflect on his behavior and triggers.


Hating your husband can take a toll on your mental well-being and has the potential to affect your family as well negatively.

You can overcome hatred towards your husband by journaling about your feelings, consulting a marriage counselor, writing a list of all the good things he has done, and looking at old photos of positive memories together.

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