To date without your parents knowing, invite a group of friends out along with your partner. This will help hide suspicion. Also, don’t send romantic text messages to your partner, especially if your parents check your phone. Similarly, keep your social media evidence-free that you are dating.
Dating without your parent’s knowledge can be a tricky endeavor. While we don’t recommend dating without your parent’s knowledge, we realize that many people will date despite their parent’s wishes. So, that being said, we’ve listed some ways you can date without your parents knowing.
If you are interested in ways to date without your parents knowing, keep reading below. Remember, it is always important to keep safety in mind when reading these tips. Never put yourself in harm’s way just to date someone without your parent’s knowledge.
5 Tips For Dating Without Your Parents Knowing
Some parents can be on the stricter side, especially when it comes to what age you can date. Because of this, you may try dating without your parents’ knowledge.
While we would never recommend dating someone without your parent’s knowledge, we realize that many people would try to date regardless. So, here are some ways you can date without your parents knowing
1. Consider Whether You Should Date Without Your Parents Knowing
Although this isn’t a specific “tip” on how to date without your parents’ knowledge, it is a crucial aspect to consider before dating. Relationships are complicated, but often, we can boil down a healthy relationship to trust and respect.
If you already have a good relationship with your parents, dating behind their back will undoubtedly put a strain on your relationship if they ever had to find out. And yes, they may find out. As much as we try to conceal things, sometimes things slip out.
If you have dated before, and they disapprove of the person you are dating, seriously consider taking their advice. Our parents often only want the best for us and can spot red flags better than we can since we are too close to the situation to see them.
If you are worried about what your parents might say, try to have a discussion about when you can date. Do things to prove that you are old enough to date and take up more responsibility, such as being on time, doing chores around the house, and studying.
The point is to make them realize that you are responsible and mature enough to date. Once you’ve proven yourself, try to discuss dating with your parents. Let them have some freedom in terms of dating conditions, such as only being in a group or being at home at a specific time. All in all, the pros and cons have to be weighed before deciding to date.
2. Go On ‘Dates’ In Groups Of Friends
Instead of going to a mall alone with your date, consider inviting a group of friends to go with you. This way, you will get to spend time with your date without tipping off your parents that you’re spending too much time with a certain special someone.
Also, going out with many friends will make it less suspicious if a family member spots you out in public; as to them, it simply looks like you are hanging out with friends. Finally, try to refrain from too many public displays of affection.
It may be tempting to always be near your partner and show your affection – but hugs, kisses, and other displays of public affection might expose you if a family member sees you.
So it’s best to always err on the cautionary side and refrain from public displays of affection. However, it is not entirely bad as you still get to spend time with your girlfriend or boyfriend in a safe environment.
3. Don’t Text ‘Lovey’ Messages If Your Parents Check Your Phone
If your parents are one of those parents who check your phone, iPad, or computer, it is best to refrain from texting loving messages to your boyfriend or girlfriend. This is especially true if your parents frequently check your phone and other technological devices.
Although you may think you will delete the conversations afterward, it is not uncommon to accidentally forget to do so or be caught off guard by your parents, who ask for your phone before you have had time to delete anything.
Anything can happen. So it is essential to always be on the cautious side. If you text your boyfriend or girlfriend, the messages should be of a platonic nature. So, talk about anything you and your friends would typically talk about without the lovey-dovey messages associated with relationships.
Also, if you think your parents might get suspicious when reading messages sent to someone of the opposite sex, change your partner’s name to someone of the same sex. This, coupled with platonic messages, is less likely to tip off your parents about your dating life.
It might be wise to inform your boyfriend or girlfriend about your texting situation. Explain to them that your parents are pretty strict about your dating life and check your phone regularly, so you will have to send them platonic messages.
Explaining to your partner about your situation will help them not be caught off guard when you text them in a purely friend-based way.
4. People Should Not Post Your Dating Life On Social Media
If you have any family members on your social media, it is important to keep it evidence-free. It may be easy to control what you post on social media, but it is sometimes harder to control what other people post on your social media or theirs. So be sure to explain the situation regarding your parents to your friends and partner.
Ask them not to post any incriminating evidence on your social media or theirs (if they have your family members on their social media). This means no photos of you and your partner, no ‘cryptic’ messages about your dating life (your parents are smart enough to figure it out) – nothing.
Also, make sure that your friends are trustworthy. For instance, if you were to have a fight with one of your friends, they would not post your relationship status on social media for revenge. If you are uncertain about some of your friends, don’t tell them about your relationship.
Keep your dating life private between a few close friends. It is probably best to keep your dating life between a few friends instead of telling the whole school, as it is less likely that your dating life will be revealed on social media.
5. Hide Emotions From Your Parents
Having a relationship can make us feel a range of emotions. We can feel elated when our partner makes a simple gesture to low-spirited when we’ve had a heated fight with them.
While your emotions are unlikely to go up and down like a rollercoaster (unless you and your partner are not in a healthy relationship), you are bound to notice changes when fights and disagreements happen.
Here is where the trick comes in: even though you may feel sad or even angry, it is important to hide those emotions from your parents. The trick is to seem normal. If your parents notice unusual behavior from you, and you refuse to explain why they may become suspicious.
They might not automatically assume it has to do with you dating someone, but it may cause them to pay more attention to you, which may lead to them finding out about your dating life. So try to seem as normal as possible.
But be aware that a rollercoaster of emotions in a relationship is not normal and indicates that the relationship is unhealthy. Therefore, if you are having relationship trouble, such as your partner is emotionally or verbally abusing you, it is essential that you let someone know and leave the relationship as soon as possible.
For relationships that pose a threat, seek help from someone or your local domestic abuse group on how to leave the relationship safely.
Related Reading: Can You See a Therapist Without Your Parents Knowing?
Several steps can be taken to keep your dating life a secret from your parents. It is
always important to exercise caution and safety when keeping your relationship a secret to keep you out of harm’s way.
To date without your parents knowing, consider going on dates with a group of friends and make sure to keep your social media clear of evidence. Try not to let your parents know by acting stranging and refrain from texting loving messages.
After earning his Master of Social Work from the University of Toronto, Stuart gained experience working with families in community mental health settings and in the child protection sector. Since becoming a father himself, Stuart now works in private practice offering psychotherapy services. FatherResource is an opportunity for Stuart to share what he learns on his journey as a father with a larger audience.