Is it hard to find love after a divorce at age 35? Dating in your mid to late thirties can seem difficult, but it can be much easier to find a partner who has the same future goals as you do. Divorce can cause pain, unresolved issues, and trauma. If you have taken the time to process and heal from your divorce, there is always the possibility of finding love again.
Divorce is a difficult reality for many couples, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t find love as a divorcé(e). And, while many divorced individuals worry about getting back into the dating world after they’ve passed age thirty, there isn’t much to worry about. Anyone can fall in love (again), at any age!
If you’re recently divorced, or if you have been divorced for a while, but you have decided to date again, then we’ve got great news for you.
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How To Find Love After Divorce At 35
We’ve got a few tips for you on how to navigate this foreign concept of finding love after divorce in your mid-30s so that we can help you find a new potential match.
1. Take Time To Heal
Divorce. Even the word has a powerful, daunting feeling to it, but, why?
There are plenty of reasons why marriages fail and people get divorced. And not every reason is negative, either! While some individuals leave their spouse after drifting apart, infidelity, incompatibility, or being caught up in an abusive relationship; some men and women split on great terms and even maintain a healthy friendship with their ex-partner.
Even if your split from your spouse was amicable, there may still be some unresolved feelings of hurt, sadness, and even trauma from your lost marriage. If you’re divorced and ready to find love again, you need to ask yourself if you’re really ready.
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Before you get back to the excitement of dating and falling in love, you’ll need to figure out if you have fully healed from the pain of your divorce. If you begin dating too soon after your divorce, the wounds of your previous relationship may still be too fresh, which can do significant harm to a budding new relationship.
Healing also looks different for everyone. For some, this may mean going to therapy and working with a mental health professional. But for others, it may mean taking some much-needed time out to orientate themselves in their new, single life.
Once you’ve healed from your divorce, you’re ready to get back out there and delve into the exciting world of dating in your thirties!
2. Be Honest About Your Divorce
Some people tend to hide that they have been divorced from prospective partners because they feel ashamed or afraid of being rejected. The stigma of divorce is a construct and mindset better left in the past. Divorce isn’t anything to feel ashamed of. You’ll need to accept that part of yourself to find a new partner.
By accepting yourself, you’ll be more able to accept others. Think about it: How can you love anyone else if you don’t even like or accept all of yourself?
Your past and what you’ve been through have shaped you into the person you are. And you’ll need to be honest with your new partner about the things that have shaped you.
Your new partner may also help you work through any emotional distress that you may experience. Even years after a divorce, the trauma may still affect you. To move on and live a happier, healthier life, you’ll need a partner who understands you, good and bad.
3. Be Open-Minded About Dating
Some individuals who have gone through a divorce become closed-minded when it comes to dating. You’ll need to be open enough to experience and try new things that you had never thought of before.
It may have been a few years since you last went on a date or thought about what you like or dislike in a partner. If you have been married for a while, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that you have grown as a person. This includes your interests, hobbies, and even your personality.
By keeping an open mind, dating will become much simpler. You don’t need to stick to dating the same kind of people as your ex-spouse, or “play to type”, just because it is safe and familiar.
Instead, by breaking out of the box you may have put yourself in, you can potentially meet new and interesting people who intrigue you. And, the more people you meet, the easier dating becomes.
However, keeping an open mind doesn’t mean forcing yourself to meet or date people you aren’t comfortable with. Dating should be fun and exciting and shouldn’t make you feel anxious or scared.
4. Your Age Is Your Power
When you’re younger, you tend to chase and pursue people based on their looks or the amount of excitement that they bring you. But when you’re in your mid-30s, you have a much better understanding of who you are and what you like.
As a mature man or woman, you are more confident of what you want out of life and out of a relationship. That means you can approach dating with your personal needs and wants in mind and present them to your prospective partners.
You don’t want to waste your time with partners who aren’t looking for the same things that you are and, by knowing what you want and being upfront about it, you’ll be more likely to find a partner that shares your same values, morals, and future goals.
Dating someone doesn’t have to be difficult, but you can make it much easier by witling out partners who don’t share your ideologies and who aren’t looking to build the same kind of future that you are.
Finding love doesn’t have to be scary, and while it may seem daunting to share your past with other people, you’re more likely to find love if you stay true to yourself.
5. Take Your Time
At 35, you may feel like you have a time limit on finding love again. This couldn’t be further from the truth!
There are plenty of divorcé(e)s that rush into new relationships based on their age. They also tend to get swept up in the idea of being loved again and don’t take the time to enjoy the dating process. While this is perfectly normal, it can cause a lot of unnecessary heartbreak.
Dating should be an experience. From butterflies on the first date to the excitement you feel when your date holds your hand or kisses you.
Dating at 35 shouldn’t feel any different than dating when you’re a teenager. It’s a time to let go, have fun, explore yourself, discover who you are in a new couple, and meet new and interesting people.
Once you’ve made the decision to dip your toe into the dating pool again, you shouldn’t be afraid to let go of all of the preconceptions you have based on your age or the fact that you’re divorced.
You never have to feel alone, either. There are plenty of divorcé(e)s in their mid-30s who are looking for love, just like you! Divorce is nothing to be ashamed of, so it’s time to embrace who you are and find a partner who can do the same.
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Divorce is an unfortunate reality for many couples, but being divorced doesn’t mean that your life is over! Finding love after divorce, no matter what your age, isn’t a fantasy. Love has no time limit, and you can find love in a new relationship if that’s what you really want.
By taking some time out to heal and keeping an open mind, you can find yourself the perfect life partner after divorce.