When your husband embarrasses you while he drinks, there can be a more complex issue he is trying to oppress. His drinking habits can be because of his low self-esteem or trying to cope with some phycological problems. There are ways to make this problem better for both parties involved.
I can guarantee you that you are not alone when it comes to this problem. Knowing how to deal with your embarrassing husband, whether it’s the amount of alcohol he consumes or his actions, or both, FatherResource is here to make life easier and support you when it comes to an embarrassing drunk husband.
Going out and having fun with friends and family should be fun. Having a husband who consistently embarrasses you by drinking too much can make you dread any social gathering where alcohol is involved. It may be the amount of alcohol that he consumes and his behavior when he drinks that embarrasses you.
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Why Your Husband Embarrasses You When He Is Drunk
Your husband may be drinking excessively due to many reasons. One of these is that men feel empowered when drinking. Alcohol gives men a self-esteem boost. I know you don’t want your husband’s drinking to be justified, but I am saying they have a reason for always going overboard when it comes to drinking.
George Kimmerling highlights that one of the reasons men want to get to the point of being embarrassing drunk is that they feel they have more in common with their fellow males.
I know what you are thinking. It’s not only the amount he drinks that embarrass you. It is his actions as well. Remember what everybody always told us when we were younger? “The truth comes out when you are drunk.” Your husband may be mean to you when he is drunk because it is suppressed conflict coming out.
Never try to resolve this conflict when he is drunk, instead, wait until the following day and have a sober civilized conversation. By doing this, you save yourself some heartache and embarrassment.
Remember, no matter how the embarrassment is caused, there is always a good and proper way to handle the situation.
How To Handle Embarrassment Caused By Your Drunk Husband
We all enjoy having fun with friends and family having a glass of wine around the BBQ. However, this can become the most dreaded activity in your life! Especially in these unprecedented times.
Before I lay down all the facts, here is a brilliant video from The Wall Street Journal.
Although this video does not address embarrassment caused by alcohol, it still highlights some excellent points regarding embarrassment caused by your partner.
Being embarrassed can be one of the worst feelings in the world, mainly if it’s caused by the person you love. Here are some valuable tips from Beliefnet to deal with the situation the right way.
- Your husband spills his drink on the carpet, and it’s not your house or carpet, so you are embarrassed. Luckily this type of behavior by your husband is not intentional, and accidents happen. Don’t get too worked up and embarrassed about events like these. If they keep on happening maybe mention something to him or give him a sippy cup!
- At a nice BBQ with friends and children, your husband starts telling more and more inappropriate jokes the more he drinks. You are incredibly embarrassed. What are the people thinking! If something like this only happens occasionally, let it go and accept it. If these inappropriate jokes keep on happening, especially around children, sit your husband down and talk about how his actions influence those around him.
- The point you have been waiting for! Your husband just always gets too drunk at a family dinner or any social occasion for that matter. Don’t just focus on your own emotions but the emotions of those close to you as well. Sit him down (at a good time) and discuss his actions and how they affect others. Remind him that every action has a reaction.
Remember, no matter how the embarrassment is caused, there might be an excellent explanation for his actions.
Just remember that your happiness and wellbeing are more important than anything. Sometimes words won’t help, and it’s wiser just to pack up and leave.
When Is It Time To Leave Your Drunk Husband?
I’m not talking about walking away from a man you love because he occasionally gets a bit too drunk. I’m talking about walking away from a man who always gets too drunk and embarrassing, and you always need to please explain on his behalf.
Most of us have been there, lying and wondering if it’s all worth it. When you get to this point, it’s wise to look at the pros and cons of your relationship before just walking away. It’s also advised to take your morals into consideration.
I have known many adults who have walked away from a relationship because of alcohol and the embarrassments that come with it. What made me walk away was realizing that I want my children to one day have a father like I had when growing up. I have never seen my father be rude to my mother because of drinking. I have also never seen him drunk.
I can’t tell you when to walk away, but I can guarantee you that your gut is often right when it comes to the affairs of the heart.
Seek Help For Your Husband’s Drinking Problem
It goes without saying that the more alcohol your husband consumes, the more likely he is to embarrass you. However, if you notice signs of a strong preference for alcohol, it may be an indicator of a more significant problem.
Alcoholism is an alcohol use disorder that can have serious negative health outcomes. If you observe that your husband has a strong need for alcohol, cannot manage his drinking, exhibits withdrawal symptoms, and consumes alcohol despite health problems, he may be an alcoholic.
On the other hand, heavy drinkers and binge drinkers fall under the category of excessive alcohol use. Heavy drinkers are classified as men who drink five or more drinks per day, or more than fourteen drinks in a week, and women who drink four or more drinks per day, or more than seven drinks per week.
Lastly, binge drinkers are classified as men who consume five or more drinks within two hours or women who consume four or more drinks within two hours. Although excessive alcohol use is often overlooked and can be seen as socially acceptable, it does not eliminate the negative health consequences that it causes.
If you suspect that your partner has a drinking problem, the first step is to speak to him about it. However, don’t be taken back if your partner responds defensively, as they are often unaware of their drinking habits. Addressing the conversation in a less accusatory manner may reduce the likelihood of a defensive reaction.
However, when it comes to limiting alcohol consumption, support is essential for heavy drinkers. Heavy drinkers who abruptly stop may experience withdrawal symptoms such as trembling, hallucinations, seizures, and even death. Encourage your spouse to join an in-patient rehab, join alcoholics anonymous or find an additional therapist.
Al-Anon is a mutual support group of peers who share their experience in applying the Al-Anon principles to problems related to the effects of a problem drinker in their lives. Click here to find resources and help near you.
How to Help Sober Up Your Husband
Okay, so while reducing your husband’s alcohol consumption is the number one way to avoid embarrassing behavior caused by him, it won’t help much if he is already intoxicated. So, in that case, you might be thinking, “now what?”
Well, I am sorry to say this, but unfortunately, there is not much you can do to change someone’s drunken behavior. This is because alcohol lowers inhibitions and impairs cognitive processes such as rational thinking. Therefore, as a result of the effects of alcohol, one may do or say things they might not typically do while sober.
There are, however, different techniques you can use to improve impairment in the short term. These techniques, however, can not reduce blood alcohol levels but rather may improve alertness and the appearance of sobriety.
For instance, eating and drinking are two of the best ways to slow the absorption of alcohol into the blood system. If you’re going out with your husband, make sure he eats before, during, and after consuming alcoholic beverages.
Furthermore, eating can help reduce the amount of alcohol consumed. However, avoid oily foods as they can often make you sick when combined with alcohol. In addition, drinking water can slow down the effects of impairment and dehydration. So aim, try to encourage your husband to drink as many glasses of water as he can while drinking.
In addition, you can try giving your husband a cup of coffee. Although caffeine does not lower blood alcohol levels, it may help to feel more aware and alert. However, caffeine may mask the effects of alcohol, leading some people to drink more.
In addition, counting drinks and extending the time between beverages is an effective way to control overconsumption. Finally, encouraging your husband to sleep is an effective way to help him sober up, which will give his liver time to do its job.
Stop Caring What People Think
We get it, easier said than done! But even if your husband does do some embarrassing things while drunk, there is a possibility you are hyper-aware of it, leading you to feel worse than you should. And, even if you are not hyper-focused on his actions, it is still beneficial to learn how to stop caring about what people think (for your own sanity).
After all, embarrassment generally arises when other people are around. Also, keeping things in perspective is one way to desensitize yourself to the situation. For instance, people are frequently occupied with their own thoughts and problems, so the chances that they are focused on you or your husband are pretty slim.
Additionally, as your husband is doing embarrassing things, people aren’t likely to focus on you or project their feelings onto you. Another option is to examine your thinking patterns.
Sometimes we only view things through black and white lenses, overgeneralize or jump to conclusions, or filter out the good things and focus on the negative. So, because our thought patterns have such a strong influence on how we feel, adopting healthy thinking practices may help you to worry less about what people think.
Continue Reading: Co Parenting with an Alcoholic or Drug Addict Ex [HELPFUL GUIDE]
Remember, you are not alone, and sometimes talking helps. First, try to solve the problem with your husband, especially if it’s not that bad.
If you suspect his actions have deeper psychological reasons have a calm conversation with him. Work through his pain and issues together.
After you have tried and not succeeded, it may be a better decision to walk away. I know it won’t be easy, and you want to stay in your comfortable bubble.
After all, growth is often uncomfortable, messy, and full of feelings you weren’t expecting, but it is necessary!