If your husband got another woman pregnant, you have two options to choose from. Option 1 is to file for divorce and part your ways. Option 2 is to forgive him, repair the relationship, and try to live a normal life. The truth is, marital affairs are complex, and so is the decision.
How devastating the feeling of betrayal is! Your whole world seems shattered, and your heart feels torn away. In fact, it is much more terrible, heart-wrenching, and painful than being burnt alive into ashes. As a wife, it is almost impossible for me to even think of my husband impregnating another woman, nay!
And if you are bearing this pain, you are indeed a powerful woman inside. Hack! You get to face it and take some action.
Before jumping to any conclusion, we try to figure out things with a realistic approach that will help us find answers as to what might be the reasons for this mishap? How to handle it? And what to do now?
Related Reading: Signs It May Be Too Late for Marriage Counseling
Why Did Your Husband Get Another Woman Pregnant?
Your husband would not have wanted it, but it occurred anyway. There is a chance that it was an unwanted thing from your husband’s side. But if you don’t have children, maybe the other woman became pregnant with your husband’s consent. Either way, adultery, and cheating are condemnable and cannot be taken as casual in a relationship.
Believe That It Is Not Your Fault
Stop feeling embarrassed. You didn’t do anything wrong. If someone has to feel ashamed of oneself, it is your husband, not you. The other woman is guilty too, but your husband has to be blamed more because he broke the wedding vows.
You can not control any other person’s actions and thoughts. They are responsible for their deeds themselves.
Don’t Feel Rejected
Your husband’s cheating has nothing to do with you; neither you had anything less of that woman. Some men take extramarital affairs as entertainment and stress-relieving activity. They are not emotionally involved in the act; instead, they are concerned to fulfill their physical lust only.
Brave lady, he hasn’t rejected you. Don’t underestimate yourself. The fact is, he doesn’t deserve you.
Related Reading: 13 Signs Your Father is Cheating
Give Yourself Time to Calm Down
Don’t suppress your feelings. Suppressing your emotions can negatively affect your physical and mental health. So, grab a shoulder, cry and spill it out.
It will make you relax and help you calm down afterward. Don’t hesitate to seek medical and psychological help from the experts if needed.
What to Do Next?
This is the most important as well as difficult part of the topic. Let’s take an insight into the two options and their consequences.
Option 1: Go For a Divorce
If you are young, recently married, and have no kids, seeking a divorce will be the best option for you.
You need not get scared of a divorce. Your life has just started, and you have not gone far in your relationship. It’s better to cry little and once than spending your whole life miserably.
Separate Your Finances First
Hire a reasonable lawyer that will file to separate spouses’ finances. This task is crucial as it will help you bear the lawyer’s fee and your post-divorce expenses until you get on your own feet.
File For Divorce
It’s a legal process. Therefore, a professional relationship expert lawyer will be required. He will make things easy and guide you throughout the trial.
Once you are divorced, don’t rush into another relationship soon. Let yourself recover so that your unhealed wounds don’t harm you or the other person.
Option 2: Forgive Your Husband
I may sound insensitive to you. You might be mocking how easily I am suggesting you forgive such a huge sin of your husband.
My beloved lady, the final decision is yours. So please don’t get mad at me. Think wisely and act accordingly. You can choose to forgive your husband if,
- You have been married to him long enough, and this was the first time he got out of track.
- You love your husband so much that losing him will be a more significant loss to you than that of his infidelity.
- Your husband intensely loves you, but he fell into a trap and could not resist himself when lured.
- You have grown-up kids, and your divorce will adversely affect their mental health and perspective of marriage and relationship.
Learn to Trust Again Before You Forgive Him
Forgiving your husband for his betrayal is not as easy as pie and trusting him again is even more difficult. But if you choose to forgive him, you must have the courage to trust him again because it is necessary for your peace of mind.
Suspicion will only destroy your nerves and will keep you restless for your entire life. So, it is better to leave him if you know you can’t trust him anymore.
Embrace Reality, You Can’t Undo Facts
Keeping your eyes off won’t undo what has already happened. Therefore, accept it and face it. The earlier you get the reality, the sooner you will recover from your gloomy days. Don’t let your happiness and peace depend on what others do. Be your boss and own your decisions.
Nobody can get the hang of the pain you suffered from when you found out that your husband has got another woman pregnant. It is the worst nightmare to stand for any loving wife in the world. If he is doesn’t care about you, he doesn’t deserve you. It’s that simple.
But if it makes him feel guilty for the horrible disaster he has brought to you and your family, you can choose either to divorce him or to forgive him. Whatever decision you make should be based on wisdom and intellect and not on sentiments. So take your time to get out of the shock. Calm your nerves. Ponder over each aspect of the consequences of your decision and go by it.
Lastly, I would remind you never to get scared of a change. Don’t judge people in general due to a bad experience. There is a beautiful and happy life awaiting a strong lady like you.