Cheating within a marriage is an issue that occurs between two partners. But what should you do when you suspect your father is cheating? What are the signs of your father cheating?
Sudden changes in behavior, attitude, or a breakdown in communication, and factors including indifference, changes in his appearance, changes in his technology use, and new time-consuming hobbies are all signs to look out for if you suspect that your father is cheating.
You need to know the truth before confronting your dad about something as serious as cheating. Knowing different signs to know your dad is cheating can help you better handle and cope with the situation.
Signs Your Father is Cheating
Infidelity is traumatic and one of the most challenging problems faced in any relationship, even if the relationship isn’t necessarily yours. Suspecting that your father is cheating takes an emotional toll on your life. So how do you tell your mother?
Gosh, do you even tell your mother?
Ensure you have the proper evidence and facts before spilling the beans to your mother and everyone else. Consider the following signs to know if your father is cheating.
However, be aware that these signs and behavioral changes do not guarantee that your father is cheating.
1. Changes in Communication
A communication breakdown is never a positive sign. Everyone has days where they aren’t feeling chatty, but if it becomes a trend that your father is uninterested in communicating with your mother, he may be cheating.
For instance, he might briefly or vaguely reply to her initiated conversation instead of replying descriptively, or if there is more difficulty talking about topics they usually discuss together easily.
If your father can’t communicate (or even fight) with your mother, if he no longer shares his day with your mother or with you, or the words “I love you” are no longer spoken, there is most likely an underlying issue that he is trying to cover up.
The following signs may also signal infidelity:
- If he changes the subject to avoid uncomfortable topics
- If he stalls or procrastinates to avoid talking
- If he storms off without saying a word
- If he constantly comes up with excuses of why he can’t talk
- If he makes accusations rather than talking about the current problem
- If he uses dismissive body language like rolling or closing their eyes
- If he acts in a passive-aggressive manner
2. Behavioral or Attitude Changes
Many external factors contribute to behavioral and attitude changes, such as work, stress, family, and friendships, to name a few. If your father tries to hide the truth, he will go to great lengths to protect his integrity. Hiding the truth is due to his inability to face the truth, or he is experiencing guilt but still wants to protect his families’ feelings.
The following may be signs of infidelity but take into consideration that they could also signal other issues.
- Noticing that your father has a sense of confusion about himself.
- Your father appears to be more secretive, for example, if he suddenly puts a password on his phone.
- Suppose your father is working longer and longer hours at work without a valid reason. Someone who has to ‘work late’ all of a sudden, and at times that go beyond a reasonable explanation, may be cheating.
- He seems to crave danger and thrills in his life all of a sudden.
- Your father tends to be more critical and negative than before, especially toward your mother.
- He tends to pick fights more often.
- He gets very defensive when infidelity or affairs are mentioned.
- Your father’s wandering eyes seem to be out of control.
- If he randomly abandons religious faith.
- He isn’t interested in going places or doing things with your mother anymore.
- Your father once was attentive but has pulled back and spends more time doing things he wants to do.
- Traffic jams, flat tires, dead batteries, and similar excuses for being late or absent altogether might also signal infidelity.
3. Changes in Appearance and Hobbies
Dedicating more time to taking care of yourself or pursuing new hobbies and interests can be stimulating, healthy, and positive. However, when combined with suspicious patterns and behaviors, it may be concerning.
If the following changes occur, it may be a concern that your father is cheating:
- Your father has a sudden increase in interest in his appearance—for example, dressing nicer or a sudden unhealthy obsession with looking fit and strong.
- If your father suddenly starts a new hobby that requires a couple of hours of commitment per day. It’s a major concern when you or your mother tries to show interest in their new hobby, and he becomes irritated or brushes you off.
- Spending extra time at the gym or practicing golf alone three times a week, insisting you stay at home, may all be signs of infidelity.
- If he isn’t sure about what his get-together details are with his friends participating in the hobby. He can’t tell you or your mother how long he’ll be out for or when he will be home.
When your father shows apathy or lack of interest in what he used to love and be passionate about without a plausible reason for his changes in engagement, infidelity may be suspected.
These indifferences may be a further indication of an affair.
- Your father seems bored with his job, your mother, the children, his hobbies, or even life in general.
- Your father has become lazy and uninvolved, especially around the house.
- Your father is unappreciative when your mother makes an extra effort to get his attention.
- Your father is indifferent to family events like birthdays and holidays.
- He might be distancing himself from the people he is hurting with the affair.
- He is more interested in other people’s relationship problems and has some strong opinions about their mistakes. He may be feeling guilty and is therefore projecting his fears and judgments about himself onto other couples.
5. Changes in Technology Usage
Infidelity often occurs online. When there are sudden, disturbing changes in your father’s technology usage, it may signify that he is cheating.
Here are the technology changes to look out for:
- Your father is suddenly unreachable at certain times of the day.
- Your father started using a password or changed his password and refuses to share it with anyone, including your mother.
- Your father is constantly texting or leaving the room to take private phone calls. He could be avoiding receiving any questionable calls in your mother’s and your presence.
- Your father stops using shared devices altogether.
- Your father clears the browser history on the home computer.
- If your father never relinquishes possession of his phone, taking it with him to go shower or always keeping the phone on is not a good sign.
How to Confront Your Cheating Father
If you are the one who discovered your dad’s infidelity, you can be in a highly uncomfortable position until called to attention. However, it would help if you considered a few things when you finally gather enough courage to confront him.
In most cases, the cheater may deny the accusation. However, without hard evidence or irrefutable proof, many people will not admit to infidelity.
Tips to Confront Your Cheating Father
- Gather all the evidence: Make sure you have strong materials to prove it is cheating.
- Choose the right place and time: Pick a quiet place where there aren’t any major plans or distractions.
- Talk to him in person: Directly tell him about all the facts you have about his infidelity and covey your feelings of betrayal. If you can’t bear to confront him in person, write a heartfelt letter.
- Stay calm: Despite your emotions and disappointment, you must remain calm when confronting your father. In addition, be prepared to hear information that you’d never expect.
- Give him a chance to explain: Listen to what your dad has to say even if he denies cheating. Show him that you are ready to hear his side of the story.
Keep in mind that you are confronting and fighting against his behavior, not who he is as a person. Your personal feelings have to be set aside for those who matter to you. Do not threaten your dad to open up to your mom; instead, allow him to talk to her when he is ready.
To conclude, there is no definite what to tell if your father is cheating on your mother without catching him in the act or directly confronting him. However, many warning signs are often a cause of infidelity.
Be sure to get your facts straight before confronting your father or spilling the beans to someone else.