Your husband may want you to sleep with another woman because cuckoldry is a popular fantasy where men want their wives to sleep with other people, but there are different reasons why men prefer this fantasy. Different reasons range from “humiliation” to “sperm competition,” and we will look at what they mean and how popular these fetishes are among men.
The majority of societies and cultures worldwide experience sexual arousal brought on by sexual fantasies. A common sexual fantasy is to see, or be aware, that your partner is having intercourse with someone else. This fantasy among men is known as Cuckoldry.
Managing a monogamous relationship has proven to be difficult over the past four decades. The divorce rate has doubled globally from 1970 to 2008, climbing from 2.6 divorces for every 1000 married couples to 5.5. However, some marriages have prevailed over these statistics, and not for the same reasons one might think.
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Intimacy, pleasuring, and eroticism is a vital part of a relationship, but not all men have the same interests and fantasies when it comes to these topics. So, what are popular fantasies among men? Are these fantasies unhealthy? And why does my husband want me to sleep with another woman?
The Reasons Your Husband Wants You To Sleep With Another Woman
Sexual fantasies have been popular for thousands of years, and more people believe that it has increasingly become part of what is considered a healthy relationship. There are frequent patterns among men regarding what they prefer, and these preferences were categorized as; exploratory, intimate, impersonal, and sadomasochism.
Fantasies, where men watch others engage in sexual intercourse and even fetishes, are classified as impersonal. Cuckoldry, a popular fantasy among men, is when they get sexually aroused by their partners having sexual intercourse with someone else. This impersonal fantasy persists among men for various reasons.
One of the most popular reasons is a biological one. “Sperm competition theory” indicates that when the male watches his partner engage in sexual intercourse with another person, it prompts his body to prepare and perform better sexually. This can aid males in a more pleasurable experience or even enhance their chances of reproduction.
Other reasons like “jealousy” and “compersion” are more focused on the enhancement of pleasure. Jealousy among men can foresee a more intense and arousing experience, although it is also known to motivate sperm competition.
Compersion is a term that was created to refer to the opposite of jealousy in a relationship; males are aroused and happy to see their partners courting someone else. Polyamorous couples use this term to refer to the joy and arousal they feel when seeing their partner happy with and sexually satisfied by another person.
A more uncommon reason for cuckolding is humiliation. Some males find it arousing to be humiliated by their partners and the other person during the sexual act. However, Cuckoldry between consenting adults will be for the couple’s pleasure, which makes humiliation less likely.
Discussing and understanding sexual preferences can be a daunting task, but these fantasies are far more common and relatable than some people might think. Communication is vital in cases like these where couples have to find out what they are comfortable with and what will benefit them.
Are Sexual Fantasies Healthy In A Relationship?
Social views on sexual fantasies vary greatly depending on the culture. For many years, sexual fantasies were suppressed because it was considered to be sinful & evil. However, formal studies and open discussions have been welcomed to explore and understand human behavior in recent years.
Studies of sexual fantasies have helped us understand what men are interested in and what fetishes they prefer. According to a study from université du Québec á Trois-rivières, 82.1% of the 1500 men that were questioned agreed that watching two women have sexual intercourse is one of their fantasies.
However, studies show that women also have a great variety of fantasies. According to a study from the universities of North Texas and Notre Dame, between 31-62% of the 355 women who were surveyed mentioned that they have rape fantasies.
Sexual fantasies among men and women are pretty common, and it has become more popular to try and explore them, but are they healthy in a relationship?
Most psychologists agree that sexual fantasies can be advantageous for relationships, granted they are appropriately managed.
Communication is a vital part of a fruitful relationship, and sharing personal fantasies can foresee a more intimate relationship. A mutual exploration of these fantasies can create a solid emotional connection between the couple even if other parties are involved.
Prohibiting someone from sharing these fantasies can lead to shame which will, in return, cause sexual dysfunction.
It is critical to note that although men and women have fantasies, they don’t necessarily share the same interest. For example, having sexual intercourse with more than one person rated relatively high with men but lower with women who preferred a more intimate sexual experience.
As long as universal characteristics like honesty, safety, and respect are part of the exploratory process, it can create a healthy sexual environment for the couple to grow together.
Are Open Relationships Beneficial For Married Couples?
Deciding to explore specific sexual fantasies might mean that you will no longer be in a monogamous relationship. Polyamorous relationships are still frowned upon by many people, and some cultures still believe that it is a taboo practice. Having more than one sexual partner while being dedicated to a relationship is a new concept that couples struggle to grasp.
Granted, this view on relationships might not be the best solution for all the inadequacies couples face. Still, studies from the National Opinion Research Centre’s General Social Survey shared interesting information that revealed hidden truth.
Their research showed that only 4 to 5% of the couples consented to an open relationship but more than 20% of men and 15% of women admitted to cheating on their partner. So, it seems that some couples don’t want to participate in an open relationship but still commit adultery. What type of relationship will then be most beneficial?
According to a study by Michigan University, people around the age of 25, both in monogamous and consensual non-monogamous relationships, are found to be equally satisfied and happy. This study that surveyed more than 2000 people found no significant differences between commitment and passionate love in both these relationships.
However, the study did find that consensual non-monogamous couples have lower levels of jealousy and higher levels of trust. This contradicts previous studies that claimed monogamous couples are more trusting and less jealous, which led the researchers to believe that there is still evidence of bias towards polyamorous couples.
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Different reasons motivate sexual fantasies, and for the most part, they are shared with other people worldwide, especially if society prohibits them from exploring these fantasies. It is not uncommon for men to have fantasies of their partners sleeping with someone else, but most couples suppress these thoughts, and others explore them.
As long as there is mutual respect in the relationship, fantasies can enhance the emotional connection in the relationship.
After earning his Master of Social Work from the University of Toronto, Stuart gained experience working with families in community mental health settings and in the child protection sector. Since becoming a father himself, Stuart now works in private practice offering psychotherapy services. FatherResource is an opportunity for Stuart to share what he learns on his journey as a father with a larger audience.