Why Do Fathers Hate Their Daughter’s Boyfriends?

Generally speaking, a father’s disapproval of the relationship tends to stem from a deeply rooted desire to care for and protect the apple of his eye. He loves his daughter and is looking out for her best interests.

It is an intriguing dilemma that a young man is challenged with when faced with his girlfriend’s father. It can be highly disillusioning for the daughter when oftentimes the father dislikes or even hates him without any probable cause.

There are a plethora of reasons as to why a father may hate his daughter’s boyfriend. So whether you are the lady who has found her dream guy or you are a young and love-filled man, you will be wondering to yourself “Why does a daughter’s father typically hate the boyfriend?” You are happy and probably head-over-heels in love with each other, yet the dad just won’t have it. So you’ve asked the question, now what are the answers?

Father angry at her daughter's boyfriend, bending metal bars showing his strength

Fathers Are (Over)Protective Of Their Daughters

Whether you feel that the father is being unreasonable or just downright pig-headed, his primary reason for not wanting his daughter to be in a relationship with someone (particularly if she is quite young) is that he is protective and does not want any harm to come to her.  

Fathers Understand The Minds Of (Young) Men

Every father was himself once a young and hormonally driven youth whose mind was, perhaps, filled with an array of sexual desires and a wanting to fulfill them. Young men are often stereotypically viewed as such. The father does not wish for his daughter to end up copulating with someone, where the relationship may be frivolous and short-lived. He would prefer that she wait for someone who is more mature and at a point where marriage is a consideration. 

Fathers Don’t Consider The Boyfriend Deserving Of Their Daughter.

Most fathers want the absolute best for their darling daughters and they are willing to go to the ends of the earth and beyond, to ensure their happiness and joy. They are their daughter’s first love and believe that no other man will be able to treat her with the same adoration and affection as him.

He has also been the one to provide for her and has looked after her since she was a young girl. Regardless of his possible life successes, some strange young man may never measure up to what a father wants for his angel. 

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Fathers Fear Their Daughter’s Boyfriend Will Distract Her From Her Studies

One thing is for sure when it comes to dating, for the relationship to grow, you need to invest your time and energy into it. A father may see his daughter’s having a boyfriend as something that will distract her from her education and cause her not to perform to her full potential.

Fathers Still Sees Their Daughter As Their Little Girl

A good father would most likely have been there for many of her early life experiences. He will have been there when she took her first steps and uttered her first words.

He would have played with her, taught her how to ride a bicycle, been present when she learned to swim, and dropped her off at school on her first day. In his mind, she will always be his little girl, and because he has that perception of her and loves her so dearly, he may not want her to grow up.  

Fathers Do Not Wish To Give Up Their Role Of “The Man” 

For some fathers, they are the provider for their daughters and ensure her safety and protection. It is a fact of nature and built into their DNA to look after their children, particularly their daughters. For them, a boyfriend may seem incapable of replacing them in this role, or they simply wish to retain that role until it comes time for the daughter to eventually marry a husband of whom the father can approve.

Fathers Fear Becoming Less Of A Priority In Her Life 

In the beginning of the relationship, you may only see one another sporadically when you go on dates. However, as the bond gets stronger, your lives tend to adapt in order to allow for more time spent with one another. You begin to invest more time and energy in each other, and this is great, but it can often come at the expense of the father’s cherished time with his daughter. The daughter will devote more of her time to the boyfriend and will even begin talking about him more frequently and her attention will be less on her father.

Fathers may also believe that another is replacing them and at his primal core, this does not sit well with him; as is similar when a son gets a new girlfriend. It is not simply a father-daughter thing, so ladies, be prepared to receive the same pushback potentially.  

The Father And Boyfriend Do Not See Eye To Eye 

This may be on various issues and topics, but the gist of it is that the father’s views and those of the boyfriend may not line up. For instance, the father may be completely opposed to premarital intercourse and perhaps even the sight of the boyfriend holding his daughter’s hand may rub him the wrong way. As young people living in the twenty-first century, you and your girlfriend may have entirely different views, to her father, on the matter, and so this may cause friction. 

It may also not just be about morals, beliefs, and ideologies; he might simply not like what you do for a living or find that the boyfriend’s interests do not align with his own at all. If there is no common ground and no shared pastimes, the father may be unwilling to warm to the idea of you dating his daughter. 

There Are Cultural, Language, Or Even Religious Barriers

In our modern world people born in certain places often do not stay put as we used to do in days gone by. With the ease of modern travel and the struggle to obtain work and the best possible life for their family, people continue to immigrate to various countries. We live in a world where different cultures, languages, and religions coexist in all parts of the world. 

So your family may very well be of one culture, have certain religious beliefs, speak certain languages, and your girlfriend and her family may differ in this regard. We live in a globalist world where people have easy access to other cultures, but this does not mean folk are any less protective of their own value system.

There is also the potential for racism, and if the boyfriend and his daughter are not of the same race, some fathers may disapprove, even in these modern times.  

Conclusion

So now that we are aware of some of the reasons as to why a father may hate his daughter’s boyfriends, we need to note that it does not mean that we should just give up on the idea of relationships. 

Instead, if you are the daughter, try to reassure your father of any concerns he may have about the relationship. As the boyfriend attempt to foster a relationship with your girlfriend’s father, as he will come to no longer see you simply as a stranger wanting to purloin his daughter, but for the person you really are. He may be pleasantly surprised.

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