There are various reasons why your wife stopped giving you compliments, such as that she does not feel you appreciate her or feels you have not been complimenting her enough or has withdrawn because of something you did that hurt her. Alternatively, she may have started to take you for granted and has become overly critical and only focuses on the things you’ve done wrong.
Receiving compliments from your wife is one of the most heartwarming things to experience as a husband. Naturally, you are feeling concerned as to why your wife has stopped giving you compliments.
Establishing potential reasons why your wife has stopped giving you compliments will be valuable in helping you understand her behavior. Once you understand the potential reasons why your wife has stopped giving you compliments, you will be able to remedy the situation so that she gives you compliments in the future.
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Here are five potential reasons why your wife has stopped giving you compliments and tips to ensure she gives you compliments in the future.
1. You have not been complimenting your wife, and she feels unappreciated
It is possible that your wife is reciprocating the energy she receives from you and has stopped giving you compliments because she feels you have not been complimenting her enough.
Additionally, your wife may have stopped giving you compliments because she feels unappreciated by you. If she is feeling unappreciated, it may be that she is withholding compliments because she does not want to empower you while she feels unimportant as your spouse.
If you think this may be the case, start giving her more compliments. Be intentional about giving her compliments, especially regarding things she does that she thinks you might not notice. She is likely to feel deeply loved by the affirmations she receives from you and respond by giving you compliments too.
If you feel you are struggling with your own challenges, like mental health and depression, then it would be wise to find professional help, and at least by speaking with your family doctor.
2. Your wife has withdrawn because she feels hurt by you
It is possible that there have been a series of negative incidents recently that have caused your wife to withdraw because she feels hurt by you.
It may be that she feels that showing you affection and giving you compliments would make her vulnerable, so she is withholding compliments to protect herself from further hurt.
In such an instance, it’s advisable that you reassure her that you care for her. Reach out to her, show affection towards her, and affirm her. Extend an olive branch and compliment her frequently so that she feels safe to show you love and extend compliments to you too.
3. Your wife has become overly critical of you and is more focused on the things you do wrong
It is possible that your wife has started taking you for granted and has become acutely aware of the negative aspects of your relationship, and is unable to see the good because she is fixated on the bad.
In such an instance, it might be challenging to change her mindset because her mindset is beyond your control. However, you may be able to influence her mindset by frequently reminiscing on good memories the two of you share to remind her of the good times she’s had with you.
You can also start showering her with praise so that she feels valued. If she feels valued and feels that you see the good things she does, her mind will start becoming more aware of good things, which will cause her to start noticing the good in you once again.
While this approach might take a while, it will not only be good for your marriage as a whole but also cause her to start giving you compliments again.
4. Your wife has been complimenting you, and you don’t regard them as compliments anymore
If you feel your wife has stopped giving you compliments, it might be that she has been complimenting you, but they fly over your head because you’re used to hearing them.
It is possible that your wife feels that she still gives you compliments, but because they are things you hear often, they no longer register as compliments.
Take care to listen for certain kind, loving things your wife may say that come across as normal things that are part of your everyday conversation.
However, if you feel there is room for improvement, it is advisable that you have an open and honest conversation with her. Tell her that you have noticed a decrease in the compliments she gives you and would feel more loved if she were to give you more compliments.
By informing her of how you’re feeling, you are enabling her to make a concerted effort to regularly give you compliments.
5. Your wife is not a verbally emotional person and shows her love in other ways
It would be wise to consider that your wife may not express her love for you verbally. When considering why your wife has stopped giving you compliments, it’s important to consider what her love languages are.
The best way to know what her love languages are is to simply ask her. Once you know what her love languages are, you’ll be able to easily recognize when she’s showing love from her perspective.
If you would prefer not to expressly ask her what her love languages are, you can carefully consider the other things she does to determine what her love languages are.
However, her way of showing love may not be the way you receive love. If your wife is not aware of how you best receive love, she may not be able to ensure you know she loves you, even if she feels she is showing you love from her perspective through her love languages.
If words of affirmation form part of your predominant love languages, then it would be valuable to reiterate this to her so that she is aware that compliments mean a lot to you.
It’s only natural for you to feel despondent if your wife has stopped giving you compliments. She may have stopped complimenting you because she feels you have not been expressing your love for her and does not want to make herself vulnerable by complimenting you.
It would be valuable for you to voice your concerns to her directly so she can explain why she stopped giving you compliments and shower you with compliments going forward.
After earning his Master of Social Work from the University of Toronto, Stuart gained experience working with families in community mental health settings and in the child protection sector. Since becoming a father himself, Stuart now works in private practice offering psychotherapy services. FatherResource is an opportunity for Stuart to share what he learns on his journey as a father with a larger audience.