If your husband is expressing that he wants you to breastfeed him, it may be for a number of reasons. Your partner may feel jealous of your baby or feel a want for a maternal bond. He may also be demonstrating a need to fulfill a fantasy or indulge in a sexual fetish or paraphilia.
An exciting part of any relationship is exploring your sexual desires and interests within a safe and loving environment. But when your partner asks for something out of your comfort zone, it can be hard to understand the reason behind their request. Although you may not have heard of it, breastfeeding is a natural desire that many men may want to try.
While it may seem out of the ordinary, your husband could be seeking out a closer bond or more intimate relationship with you. It is completely normal to feel hesitant about starting a nursing relationship with your partner, but being well informed on what drives his wishes may be the first step to understanding exactly what he is asking for.
How to Handle Your Husband Wanting You to Breastfeed Him
Whether you’re considering nursing your partner to meet their physical or emotional needs, it is important to have an open and honest conversation with them. A nursing relationship should only be entered into if both individuals are comfortable and fully understand the implications thereof.
Your partner should be treated fairly and should not be made to feel ashamed of their desires. By creating a safe environment to discuss their need to be breastfed, it can help you to decide whether or not nursing is right for your relationship.
Alternatively, both you and your partner can attend a couples counseling session or seek help from a sex therapist to talk through your feelings and reservations in an unbiased and neutral space.
Pregnancy, Natural Lactation, And Breastfeeding
Pregnancy is one of the most wonderful times a couple can experience, but for some men, their pregnant partner may also spark an interest in breastfeeding.
In some instances, this intrigue can be linked to maiesiophilia, a sexual paraphilia (or fetish) for women who are pregnant. This fetish creates an interest in almost all aspects of pregnancy, and lactation is just one of the few.
Similarly, lactating women have been known to leak breast milk when aroused, causing further excitement and curiosity in their partner – whether they are conscious of this fact or not.
Once the baby arrives, both mother and child are able to share in the intimacy and bonding experience that breastfeeding brings. This can cause partners to become jealous of the attention that the baby is receiving, and subsequently cause them to feel excluded.
By watching the enjoyment that breastfeeding can bring to a mother, their partner may begin to associate the act of nursing with a pleasurable act. This may lead to men asking their wives to breastfeed them in an attempt to share in the closeness that they feel there is between a mother and infant when feeding.
For the majority, expressing a desire to breastfeed from their female partner stems from a fetish or kink, and speaks to their underlying need to meet this fantasy.
Erotic lactation and the sexual paraphilia associated with the concept are more often than not ingrained in an individual during childhood. It has been postulated that many adults interested in lactation for sexual pleasure were exposed to the stimuli of watching a woman breastfeed during crucial periods of early development.
This can lead to an engrossment in a variety of fetishes, such as lactophilia and infantilism, and can also be linked to an Adult Nursing Relationship (ANR), or even used in sexual relationships that form part of BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism).
Lactophilia is a paraphilia whereby men and women gain sexual excitement or pleasure from having sex with a lactating woman, sucking on her breasts, or even watching her as she lactates.
Infantilism is more commonly known as an ‘adult baby’ kink. Individuals who participate in infantilism usually gain sexual arousal from being treated like a baby, wearing baby clothes, and engaging in activities that a baby would normally enjoy. This includes being breastfed by a woman who, in turn, becomes the ‘mother’ in the relationship.
An ANR relationship is slightly more complicated and can stem from a number of different wants or desires. While ANR can be used to enhance foreplay and sex, these relationships are not strictly sexual in nature.
For some couples, the act of breastfeeding helps to bring them both comfort and can be seen as an act of affectionate intimacy that the two of them share. Adult Nursing Relationships are not restricted to women who are already lactating, either.
Part of these relationships can sometimes be inducing lactation. This aspect of ANR is also used to bring the pair together, as it requires patience and determination from both parties.
Your husband may also want to try breastfeeding if he has an interest in, or engages in, BDSM. Breastfeeding can be incorporated in BDSM in a number of ways.
If the woman takes on the submissive role in the BDSM relationship, the act of giving her milk to her partner may be considered the same as giving up control – her partner is free to take whatever he or she wants within their pre-determined limitations.
Women who breastfeed often complain of tenderness, swelling, and general discomfort in their breasts when they are filled with milk. A further act of submission may be relying on the dominant partner to relieve her of the aching and tenderness of her swollen breasts.
On the other hand, the woman may take on the dominant role in the bedroom. In this instance, her breastmilk can be given to her partner as a reward or withheld from them as a form of punishment.
A Need For Intimacy
If your husband seems to be expressing a desire to nurse from you without an existing paraphilia or outside of the context of pregnancy and natural lactation, it may be important for you to recognize that he may be asking for intimacy rather than sexual gratification.
Nursing can bring a sense of closeness between a breastfeeding woman and her partner and can satisfy an underlying need for a feeling of safety. Much like the safety that an infant may feel when bonding with their mother during nursing, your husband may be seeking out the familiarity of a maternal bond.
It may not come as much of a surprise to know that men and women that have been adopted, have lost a parent at an early age, or have a strained relationship with their mother, maybe searching for a way to meet their need for a safe and nurturing relationship.
These desires should be handled with care so as to not make your partner feel judged, ashamed, or rejected. Instead, you should make sure to let your partner know that you are understanding of their request, and decide together on how to proceed.
It is perfectly natural to feel confused and uncertain when your husband approaches you and asks you to breastfeed him. But, by understanding the fantasies or needs that drive his urge, you may feel better equipped to handle the situation with understanding and without shaming him for his wishes.
Simply opening a line of communication between yourself and your partner can create trust and intimacy, and can help you to navigate the unfamiliar circumstances you may find yourself in. You may also benefit from speaking to a qualified professional before exploring your husband’s fantasies to make sure that you are ready and comfortable with what it may entail.