Many relationship blogs and advice columns state that your boyfriend should be your best friend.
But is it really that important or even beneficial to your relationship? In today’s post, we will examine nine pros and potential cons that would be good for you to consider in this regard.
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1. Pro: Your Relationship May Be More Satisfying
According to a survey conducted by Psychology Today, couples who considered their partners their best friends reported that they were more satisfied with their relationships than couples who did not.
They state that it is because best friends enjoy spending time together, have a lifelong bond, trust each other, have similar interests, and take care of each other.
2. Pro: Your Life May Be More Satisfying In The Long Run
In 2014, Researchers Shaun Grover and John Helliwell analyzed data from a survey conducted by the British Household Panel. They found that people who identified their spouses as their best friends were two times more likely to report higher life satisfaction.
Thus, if you and your boyfriend were to move in together or get married eventually, being best friends will increase your chances of having a more satisfying life.
3. Pro: You Can Be Your True Self
Having your boyfriend as your best friend means spending a lot of time together, especially if you live together. As such, Well + Good states that your boyfriend gets the opportunity to get to know you on all levels, both good and bad.
If your boyfriend accepts you with all your flaws, you can be your true self leading to greater happiness.
4. Pro: Potentially Better Boundary Enforcement
According to Psychology Today, it would be beneficial to conduct your relationship with your partner the same way you would with a best friend when it comes to setting boundaries.
Because best friends are very comfortable with each other, they usually have no problem setting boundaries and will not accept poor treatment from each other.
Couples who do not consider each other their best friends may not be as comfortable with setting boundaries and may sometimes be more accepting of bad behavior.
5. Con: Risk Of The Relationship Becoming Codependent
While being best friends with your boyfriend can be very healthy, the relationship can potentially become codependent. According to Healthline, the difference between a healthy friendship and a codependent one is that there are no more boundaries if the relationship becomes codependent.
People in codependent friendships often put others’ needs before their own, are too dependent on each other, and often lose themselves.
6. Con: Risk Of Withdrawing From Your Broader Friend Circle
According to Headspace, people in new relationships often pull away from their friends, relying only on their partner for support and companionship.
It may be too much pressure on your relationship to try and fulfill all of each other’s needs. In addition, if the relationship should end, you will have no friends to support you with the heartache.
7. Con: Greater Heartache If The Relationship Should End
It hurts a lot when you break up with a boyfriend or if you end your relationship with your best friend. If both of them are the same person, you will lose two significant relationships simultaneously. Thus, the pain of such a break-up will be much more intense.
8. Con: He May Not Always Be Able To Offer The Right Support
There may be certain areas in which your boyfriend might be unable to provide the kind of support you need. For instance, some men are not good at providing emotional support.
They often want to give advice on how to fix the situation, while you may simply want them to sympathize with you. It can frustrate both of you and even potentially lead to conflict.
9. Con: Differing Interests May Lead To Conflict
If you and your boyfriend do not enjoy the same kind of activities, it can lead to conflict in your relationship if you only want to spend time with each other.
One person might feel as though they are always doing what the other wants and never what they want, causing dissatisfaction in the relationship.
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